Sheeeeet! Welcome to the first instalment of Turn on, Tune In, Drop Dead. A fair bit of warning for those with weak egos and easily damaged pride, this is not going to be one of those columns where everyone circle jerks the other and they all have a merry good time. Fuck NO, not on my goddamn watch. I am here to de-liver the fucking PAIN and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

With that out of the way let’s get this shit rolling.

A’ight. So, what’s been happening around the heavy metal scene in the country? That’s the question I’m here to answer. Honestly though, in my hiatus away from all things “Scene”, all I’ve really noticed (through the bane that is social media) is that the number of venues seem to be dwindling. Some fading into obscurity and some unwilling to host a legion of sweaty, angry metalheads, repressed by years of bathroom wailing and squandered street fights. Because of this shit, the bands seem to be disappearing too, or at least the number of quality bands. In all fairness though, there really is nothing new in the world of metal, even internationally. Yeah, Periphery, yeah I’m looking at you!

It’s the sad truth. Everything that could have been done in the world of heavy metal has already been done and done well. I dare anyone to come up to me and tell me otherwise. Variety is the spice of life and it sure as shit ain’t a variety show these days.

No doubt, you will find bands trying to break the mould and experimenting with stranger sounds in the Indian Indie *shudder* scene. But you do have to take the time to look around and sift through the ungodly amounts of swamp shit music that the scene regularly produces.

Which brings me back to the metal scene, in spite of the rubbish that has been floating around, there are a few diamonds in the rough just waiting for the right time. We just don’t know of them as yet. Well, we do know of one, Keshav Dhar, but that’s another story for another instalment.

Not to worry though; in the meantime, perennial favourites Scribe have been sharpening their teeth and readying their opus Hail Mogambo for a release sometime this summer, we hope. It’s been four years since we last got a taste of something substantial. Their 2010 release, The Mark of Teja, drew some criticism from this pissed off fuck but it was still one of the best albums of that year and their third album should be just as badass, or not. Depends on the situation really; sometimes they can really bring the roof down and sometimes they just fizzle the fuck out.

Here in Delhi, angry tech metal band Undying Inc. have been hard at work crafting the third iteration of their evolving sound. Their Ironclad EP should be out sometime before the summer begins. I’ve had the opportunity to listen to few tracks off the EP and it was delish! Hard and fucking furious, no happy ass pop melodies, no chorus to sing to and sure-as-shit no cool factor for the hipsters to latch on to.

You ever remember the time when you were a kid, flicking through new found cable TV late at night and you found some fodder that you could not quite understand but somehow knew you probably should not be watching it? Undying Inc. are a lot like that.

I haven’t really heard a lot coming out of the Bhayanak Maut camp for the past few months, apart from a gig here and there but that’s probably because I haven’t checked in on the burly bruisers from Mumbai. Their 2009 self-titled release still hold ups and although the Dinosaur t-shirt in my closet has faded away, I believe we’re in for a surprise when it comes to BM. I wouldn’t count them out of a WWE ring just yet; I’m still waiting for the proverbial Hell in a Cell match. Bring it on!

Fuck, I’ve rambled on enough and trust me, I do have more to say but, I have standards; I don’t put out on first dates. I wait till a ring is on my finger!

So, if you liked my brand of aural perversion and linguistic latex don’t forget to Turn on, Tune In, Drop Dead. Till next time, Stay Frosty.